Melded Words.

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Melded Words.

Post by `georgeweasley on Sat Aug 08, 2009 2:32 am

My poetry~


      We Do Not Know Them

      The fog surrounds us
      like a storm in mid-summer.

      He's out there.
      He can see us.
      He can feel us.

      We can't see him.
      We can't feel him.
      We can only watch,
      As the moments pass.

      It's too late for us all.

      Our Father which art in heaven,
      Hallowed be thy name.
      Thy kingdom come,
      Thy will be done in earth,
      as it is in heaven.


      God can't save us now.
      Is there a God?
      Why would God kill
      all of his children?
      Why would God let him
      kill all of his children?

      The unthinkable questions,
      The heathen questions,
      are filling our thoughts.

      There is no stopping him.
      He got away with so much.
      and we can't stop him now.

      Is this the punishment for all who sin?

      Grace Budd did nothing.
      yet he took her
      and stripped her
      of her flesh.

      There is no stopping them.
      They know where we live.

      They know us.

      We do not know them.


      Note: The inspiration behind this was nothing; just random thoughts in my brain. Also, the italics are words in some Christian/Catholic prayer. I felt it was...needed almost.

      Constructive Criticism, along with anything else is always welcome.
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`georgeweasley
Unreliable Narrator

Posts : 14
Join date : 2009-08-06
Age : 23
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Re: Melded Words.

Post by savfantasy on Thu Sep 10, 2009 12:09 pm

I really like this poem, and I agree, the pieces of the Lord's Prayer really add something. When I was looking at it, I wondered why you used "them" in the title, when you were always refering to "him". Then I got to the last few lines. Would I be correct in assuming that the narrator is speaking of a specific killer, then branches out to say that we do not know who the killers in general may be?
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savfantasy
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